1
00:00:00,490 --> 00:00:04,430
You know, it's nights like tonight that
remind me how happy I am you guys moved

2
00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:06,010
to L .A. Oh, thank you.

3
00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:08,370
I hope you never move out of our guest
house.

4
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,390
Oh, I think you've had enough wine,
honey.

5
00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:15,470
I'm serious. If you guys weren't here,
we'd probably just put Sammy to bed and

6
00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:16,470
then go to sleep ourselves.

7
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:19,510
Yeah, thanks, Jess. Instead of getting
the rest you need, you can listen to the

8
00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:22,090
story of how Jimmy almost lost an eye
teasing a pigeon.

9
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:26,490
Learned a lesson that day.

10
00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:30,910
It must have been around the time I met
you. I remember you wearing that eye

11
00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:33,770
patch. Actually, it was after that. When
I met you, I was wearing an eye patch

12
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:36,110
so I could look like that dude on that
soap opera. What was his name?

13
00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:38,130
Patch. Oh, yeah.

14
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:42,310
Christine, you remember the first time
you and I met? Oh, sure, yeah. I was

15
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,870
thinking about going to school, and I
went up to see Kim to see if I had

16
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:45,870
college.

17
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,170
Who are you again?

18
00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:51,290
I'm dating your sister.

19
00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:53,329
Oh.

20
00:00:53,330 --> 00:00:54,970
Nice to meet you. Yeah, you too.

21
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,990
Yeah, that was the last time I drank
tequila and Tang.

22
00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:04,450
Yeah, that was the last time I wore
those shoes.

23
00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:09,130
Ah, that was nothing compared to the
first time Kim and I met, huh, Kim?

24
00:01:10,430 --> 00:01:11,430
Shut up, Jimmy.

25
00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:15,290
That was really something, wasn't it?
Jimmy, no one wants to hear this.

26
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,590
Why, what happened? Nothing, it's
stupid.

27
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,990
Wait a minute. I was there the first
time you guys met. Nothing funny

28
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,010
Oh, you weren't there for all of it.

29
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:40,030
I'm Jimmy. I'm here to pick up
Christine.

30
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,380
Oh, come on. That never happened.

31
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:52,620
Yes, it did.

32
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:54,640
Why?

33
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,800
I don't know. I had those crazy teenage
hormones.

34
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,840
Look, who cares? It was a long time ago.

35
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,160
Well, how long ago was it?

36
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:03,380
Fourteen years.

37
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,160
But I could taste her grape bubblicious
like it was yesterday.

38
00:02:10,699 --> 00:02:11,960
I'm going to go brush my teeth.

39
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,980
That was a fun night, huh?

40
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:25,900
Hey, what the hell are you doing?

41
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,120
What was that for?

42
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,780
The hell are you doing kissing my
sister?

43
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,600
It was in high school. I don't care when
it was. We were dating.

44
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,640
I couldn't help it. She attacked me.

45
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,300
Well, did you push her away?

46
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,160
I couldn't. Look, she opened the door,
took one look at me, and became crazy,

47
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,138
you know?

48
00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:42,140
What's with the hair?

49
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,940
God, I miss that hair.

50
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,560
Well, did you kiss her back?

51
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,070
Well, it would have been rude not to.
She's your sister.

52
00:02:53,870 --> 00:02:58,330
I can't believe you cheated on me. Well,
cheated? Hey, whoa, whoa, okay?

53
00:02:58,630 --> 00:03:01,270
We'd only been out twice. We weren't
even exclusive yet.

54
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:04,430
Oh, well, call me old -fashioned, but
after I dated a guy once, I kind of

55
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:06,190
him to keep his tongue out of the rest
of my family's mouths.

56
00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:09,450
You're blowing this way out of
proportion.

57
00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:12,910
Oh, am I? Yeah. Yeah? What would you do
if you found out that I made out with

58
00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:14,350
your brother 14 years ago, huh?

59
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:19,100
Well, 14 years ago, my brother was in
the first grade. So I guess in the

60
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,260
I'd make sure that you don't work around
any small children.

61
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,660
What are you doing?

62
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,320
Sleeping in the living room.

63
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,820
Are you kidding me? Well, I'm not
sleeping in here with your sister

64
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:30,820
hillbilly ass.

65
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,960
Okay, fine. Why don't you go try sleep
on an uncomfortable couch? If you're

66
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,640
looking for me, I'll be right here on
this bed, stretched out, sleeping, guilt

67
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,980
-free, like a baby.

68
00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:47,360
I believe that's for you.

69
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:55,120
So, like, when it's just you and Jimmy
alone in the house, you ever feel the

70
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,640
need to rekindle the old magic?

71
00:03:57,620 --> 00:04:01,820
You know, put on a little purple rain
and indulge in a little light petting?

72
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,720
Shut up. I feel stupid enough already,
okay?

73
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:08,920
Come on, I'm just giving you a hard
time. I think it's funny.

74
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,899
Funny, huh?

75
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,240
Yeah. What, it really doesn't bother you
that I kissed him?

76
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,320
No. Not at all?

77
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,980
What, am I supposed to get mad? I didn't
even know you then.

78
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:24,080
I mean, besides, when we met, I kind of
figured you'd kissed other guys before.

79
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:25,960
Wow.

80
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,300
Yeah, of course I had.

81
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,720
God knows I've kissed my share of girls.

82
00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:31,420
Good night, honey.

83
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,580
What's that supposed to mean?

84
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,560
That I hope you have a good night.

85
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:48,070
Your share of girls. What, do you want
me to think it's like some huge number

86
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,070
something?

87
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:52,870
No, I was just saying I've kissed my
share of girls, that's all. I really

88
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:53,870
mean anything by it.

89
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:55,370
Oh. Okay.

90
00:04:56,670 --> 00:05:00,950
Because you should know that before I
met you, I'd certainly kissed my share

91
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:01,950
boys.

92
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,070
Ah, good for you, honey.

93
00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:10,490
Seven.

94
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,600
I kissed seven boys.

95
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:19,880
That's it?

96
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:21,800
That's a lot.

97
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,560
Why? How many girls have you kissed?

98
00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:25,059
I don't know.

99
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:29,120
Oh, what do you mean you don't know? You
have to know. No, no, I'm not sure.

100
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:32,460
How can you say you're... Oh, okay, I
see.

101
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:34,900
Your number's lower than mine, isn't it?

102
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,220
If I say yes, can I go to sleep?

103
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:41,320
You're not going to sleep until you tell
me your number.

104
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:42,800
Kim, I told you, I don't know.

105
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,640
Well, then guess. You have to be able to
guess.

106
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,280
Well, like, what kind of kisses?

107
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,960
Real kisses, on the lips. And none of
those go -kiss -your -grandma -don't

108
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,160
-anything -about -her -mustache kisses.

109
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,800
So, like, make -out kisses? Yes.

110
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,760
About 50.

111
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,880
Come on, be serious.

112
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,200
I am being serious.

113
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,520
Oh, Greg, you did not kiss 50 women.
Yes, I did.

114
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:13,160
Oh, okay, well... If you don't want to
tell me your number, then fine, but

115
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,220
lie about it. It's pathetic.

116
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,020
50.

117
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,860
You really don't believe I could kiss 50
women?

118
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,540
No, I believe you could if, like, you
had them all tied up in a dungeon or

119
00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:25,540
something.

120
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,780
I just don't believe you did.

121
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,160
Well, you're just jealous. You're
jealous that I used to be a bit of a

122
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,220
man before I met you.

123
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,380
What the hell is so funny?

124
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,780
Oh, come on, Greg. A ladies' man?

125
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,380
I saw the pictures of you and your prom
date.

126
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:48,590
My prom date and I were a very
attractive couple. Oh, well, you looked

127
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,490
Your cousin was a little chubby.

128
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:55,010
Second cousin. Second cousin. There's
nothing wrong with that. We could have

129
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,010
legally married.

130
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,230
Of course you could have.

131
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,730
And at the reception, instead of handing
out those little bags of almond

132
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,610
candies, you could just make out with
your cousin and send everyone home with

133
00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:04,610
the creeps.

134
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,810
I kissed 50 women.

135
00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:11,810
Okay, I'm sorry. I believe you.

136
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:13,910
Thank you.

137
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:16,000
Now, go to sleep and maybe you'll kiss
50 more.

138
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:23,160
What are

139
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:27,220
you doing in here?

140
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,140
Oh, Jimmy and I are fighting.

141
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,960
What are you doing? Kim.

142
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:36,160
Thank you. Can you believe that she and
Jimmy kissed?

143
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:37,420
Oh, I don't care about that.

144
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,320
Oh.

145
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:40,969
What are you doing?

146
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:43,790
Kim thinks that I'm this desperate guy
who can't get a lot of girls. Well, I'll

147
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:46,070
tell you what, I'm going to make a list
and put it on the refrigerator. We'll

148
00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,070
see who looks desperate then.

149
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,190
Number one, Kim.

150
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:55,650
You really don't care that Kim and Jimmy
kissed?

151
00:07:55,970 --> 00:08:00,570
No, who could remember what happened 14
years ago? Oh, Sabrina Shea, seventh

152
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,850
grade, under the bleachers, over the
bra.

153
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:08,050
I can't believe you don't care about
this.

154
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:11,680
Oh, come on, Christine. Imagine if the
situation was reversed. Would you get

155
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,940
upset at Jimmy if he found out we kissed
in high school?

156
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,980
I don't think that would happen.

157
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,460
Trust me, if you grew up near me, you
would have run into these lips sooner or

158
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:24,120
later. They were very busy. Just ask
Christy Palmer, Juliet Coriola, and

159
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,420
Something Spanish.

160
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,060
I don't think so, Greg. You weren't
really my type.

161
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:32,120
What does that supposed to mean?

162
00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:35,740
Not a big deal. I just went for
different types of guys. You know, the

163
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,460
troublemakers, the burnouts, the jocks.

164
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,010
I was on the swim team.

165
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:46,030
Yeah. I wasn't really attracted to
skinny teenage boys who shaved their

166
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:47,030
more often than I did.

167
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:51,270
I can't believe this. This is insulting.
Right here, right now, I am insulted.

168
00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:55,830
Greg, it's not a big deal. I didn't say
I wouldn't have liked you in high

169
00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:57,550
school. I'm sure I would have liked you
as a friend.

170
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,210
As a friend? As a friend?

171
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,570
You're just like all those other stupid
popular girls in high school. You think

172
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,570
I'm ugly, don't you?

173
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:06,210
No, you're just not my type.

174
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,620
Well, that's funny, because from what
Kim says about your past, I didn't

175
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,220
that any types weren't your type.

176
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,600
Hey, don't get mad at me because you
were ugly in high school.

177
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,180
I was not ugly. I just think it's funny
that you're so sure we would have never

178
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:28,760
kissed, but I'm probably the only guy on
the East Coast that hasn't had to help

179
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,500
you look for your bra on the back of a
Dodge Dart.

180
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,760
You know what?

181
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,560
You're lucky you were never my
boyfriend.

182
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:44,320
Because after you finished all my
homework, I would have dumped you right

183
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,600
front of all your Latin club buddies.

184
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,700
Well, you're lucky you're not my
girlfriend because I'd be kissing on you

185
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,540
the time. And with my ugly face, you
know how disgusting that would be.

186
00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:57,160
Ugly face. Ugly face, Stephanie.

187
00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:08,870
Look who's back to apologize.

188
00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:14,150
Hey,

189
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,370
Christine, it's cold out here.

190
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:23,790
Hey.

191
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:27,450
Hi, Mom, it's Greg.

192
00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:30,850
Yes, I know what time it is. Hey, what
was the name of that girl that used to

193
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:33,810
live down the street from us, the one
with braces, had the big dog that would

194
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:34,990
bark at us when we'd walk by?

195
00:10:36,349 --> 00:10:38,170
Because I kissed her once and I'm making
a list.

196
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,110
No, I'm not on ecstasy.

197
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:44,210
I don't even know what ecstasy is.

198
00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:47,390
Well, stop watching Dateline.

199
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,550
Mom, listen, go back to bed.

200
00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:53,010
Corporal Klinger just showed up.

201
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:57,250
It's Christine. She threw me out of the
guest house. Now, can I sleep on your

202
00:10:57,250 --> 00:11:00,110
couch or are you going to be a while?
Well, I'm making a list of every girl

203
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:00,769
ever kissed.

204
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:01,770
Oh, I'll wait.

205
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:05,030
It's going to be a while, okay?

206
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,350
Yeah, sure it is.

207
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:10,290
Why is it so hard for everyone to
believe that I kissed a bunch of girls

208
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,810
up? Hey, Greg, you're a nice guy, but,
you know, you're not the kind of guy who

209
00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:14,950
kissed a lot of girls in high school.

210
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,570
You know, in fact, if you went to my
high school, I know exactly the kind of

211
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:19,570
crowd you would have hung out with.

212
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:22,890
Yeah, you would have sat at that nerd
table at lunch next to that kid who wore

213
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,590
the suit to school every day, Navdeep.

214
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:30,730
Wouldn't have sat next to Navdeep. In
fact, I was probably more popular in

215
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:31,730
school than you were.

216
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,360
I don't think so, buddy.

217
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,460
Back in high school, nobody could
compete with Jimmy Hughes.

218
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:42,300
I had everything you needed to be
popular. I had a letterman's jacket, I

219
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:45,680
fast car, and I had a father who drank
so much beer, he didn't realize I was

220
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,680
stealing a case a day.

221
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,560
Well, I hope you had fun, because all
your hard work certainly secured you a

222
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,160
promising future and minimum wage and
polyester uniforms.

223
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,900
Oh, you think you're so much better than
me, don't you?

224
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,480
What? Look, Greg, in many ways you are
better than me. Okay, you make more

225
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,240
money, you're smarter, you've never been
shot by a rubber bullet.

226
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,280
But from 1980 to 1986, I was the king of
my high school.

227
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,660
You, on the other hand, were the kind of
guy that was stripped naked and thrown

228
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,660
into the girls' locker room.

229
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,360
That was supposed to be an initiation
into a secret club.

230
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,089
Stupid wrestlers.

231
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:27,170
I know it's frustrating, but back then,
by those rules, I was better than you,

232
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,870
and that's something you can never take
away from me.

233
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:30,230
Nope.

234
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:32,050
But I can take my cushion.

235
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:34,590
Will you come on, Greg?

236
00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:35,990
Nope, forget it.

237
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,230
This is so stupid.

238
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,110
Where are you going to sleep now,
Fonzie?

239
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,370
You know what? You're still a geek.

240
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,950
Yeah? Sticks and stones, buddy. Stick
that stone!

241
00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,150
What are you doing? Come to bed.

242
00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:54,410
49!

243
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:58,590
What? I made a list of all the girls I
ever kissed. Every single one of them.

244
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,570
Right there. Proof, baby. Read it in a
week. Ha ha.

245
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:01,850
Are you kidding me?

246
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:03,410
Nope.

247
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,550
Red -haired girl at camp.

248
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:09,750
Fat girl with braces. What is this?
Well, I couldn't remember all the names,

249
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,650
trust me, I remember the lips. It's all
legit.

250
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:14,230
I don't believe this.

251
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,490
You really did kiss 49 women.

252
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,590
Yes, I did, and I think somebody has
made an apology.

253
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:22,290
a whore.

254
00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,190
What?

255
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:28,030
You're a man whore.

256
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:33,950
What kind of person kisses this many
people? A girl named Ming during a

257
00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:34,950
abroad?

258
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:39,570
Oh, God, your tongue has been in mouths
all over the world. I feel sick. Oh,

259
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:42,950
wait a second. Why didn't you tell me
about this? It's like you have a secret

260
00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:43,950
past.

261
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,610
Who are you?

262
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:48,130
Kim, you're being crazy.

263
00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:49,330
Greg, these are

264
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:51,600
Gene numbers.

265
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,460
Christine threw me out of the guest
house and Greg kicked me off the couch.

266
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:54,200
Well, you almost killed us.

267
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:55,540
I'm sorry.

268
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:56,900
Where are you going?

269
00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:58,540
I'm just driving.

270
00:14:58,820 --> 00:14:59,820
Oh.

271
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,540
How many girls have you kissed?

272
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:02,459
Excuse me?

273
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,480
Greg made me a list of all the girls
he'd kissed.

274
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,060
He was making that list for you?

275
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,580
Ah, geez, maybe he's not smarter than
me.

276
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:13,200
49. He's kissed 49 girls.

277
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,880
I knew it would be a low number.

278
00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:21,470
and even like make -out parties and
everything, too.

279
00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:22,609
Yeah, he was.

280
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:25,090
Yeah. Well, if you count stuff like
that, 49 is nothing.

281
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:28,050
I mean, at some of our frat parties, you
could do better than that if you passed

282
00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:29,050
out with your mouth open.

283
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,970
How can you say 49 is a low number? My
number was 7.

284
00:15:38,050 --> 00:15:41,870
You can't compare a guy's numbers and a
girl's numbers. I mean, guys are pigs.

285
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,630
They're constantly trying to get their
hands on anything.

286
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:47,070
Think about it. What would your number
be if you kissed every guy that tried to

287
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:47,879
kiss you?

288
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,200
Oh, God, I couldn't imagine.

289
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:50,459
Yeah, exactly.

290
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:54,340
While you were busy saying, no, no, no,
Greg was busy saying, please, please,

291
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,480
please.

292
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,840
But 49 said yes.

293
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:00,060
Yeah, but he probably asked at least
500.

294
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,560
Oh, God, that's sad.

295
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,700
That's what I'm saying. It's pathetic.

296
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,820
Because if you're willing to put in the
time, you can get any girl to kiss you.

297
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,960
You know, all you got to do is, you
know, pretend you want to be friends,

298
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,720
them home, and then tell them some sad
story about your childhood.

299
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,260
Wait a second. That's how Greg kissed me
the first time.

300
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,480
Yeah, it's a classic.

301
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:23,040
The poor guy had leg braces until he was
12.

302
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:24,940
No, he didn't.

303
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,380
What do you mean it's low?

304
00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:34,020
Jimmy explained to me that it's a low
number. I'm not mad anymore.

305
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,680
It's not a low number. It's high. Don't
lie to her to get me out of trouble.

306
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,720
Tell her it's a high number.

307
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,280
It's not a high number. Oh, and I guess
your number's higher.

308
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,480
Way higher.

309
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,080
And that was all before I met Christine.

310
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,030
I haven't kissed anyone since I met her.

311
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:47,490
Except, of course, your wife.

312
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,450
Yeah, of course.

313
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:53,690
Yeah, I don't think I've ever met a guy
who didn't hit 50. Yeah. Oh, wait, no,

314
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:55,870
there was one guy. What was his name?
Oh, yeah, Navdeep.

315
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,130
Hey, I dated Navdeep.

316
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,030
He had a snappy dresser.

317
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:05,170
I don't believe this. I thought I had a
high number.

318
00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:07,329
It's okay, honey. I'm happy.

319
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,500
I'm not. I didn't even make it to 50,
and the worst part is I'm done. Now that

320
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:14,420
I'm married, that's it. It's over. It's
like I'm stuck on 49 forever.

321
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:15,919
Cheer up.

322
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,900
Maybe I'll die before you, and you'll
get a chance to get out there and kiss a

323
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:19,759
few more women.

324
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,839
Uh, you're just saying that to make me
feel better.

325
00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:29,080
What the hell was that?

326
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:30,680
Now we're all even.

327
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,500
Oh, my God. 50. I got 50. Where's the
damn pen?

328
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:42,480
Even. Excuse me? You kissed Greg out of
spite.

329
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:46,100
Still counts. Christine out of spite.
Number 50. How do you like me now,

330
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,920
Look, when Kim and I kissed, it was
passionate. It meant something. There

331
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,160
like this animal attraction that
couldn't be ignored.

332
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,440
Go ahead. Tell her, Kim.

333
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,800
Tell her.

334
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:00,760
Kim.

335
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,320
Actually, it wasn't.

336
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:07,020
What are you talking about?

337
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:16,530
Hey, is that my lipstick?

338
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:18,610
I don't know.

339
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,050
Well, where'd you get it?

340
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:21,250
Out of your room.

341
00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,290
Mom! Mom!

342
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:24,950
Mom!

343
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,350
She's not home.

344
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:28,769
Give it back.

345
00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:31,530
No. Give it back. I need it. I have a
date.

346
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:34,390
I don't want your stinky germs on it.
Oh, yeah?

347
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,080
Jimmy, I'm here to pick up Christine.

348
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,660
Wow. Hey, Jimmy.

349
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,200
Hey. Hey.

350
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:13,360
Um, you know, my parents aren't home.
You want to skip the movie and just hang

351
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,360
out in my basement?

352
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:15,620
There's a couch.

353
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,320
Sure. Cool.

354
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:33,490
What are you smiling about?

355
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:34,750
Nothing.

356
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,450
Oh, my

357
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:49,770
gosh. That is hilarious.

358
00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:53,070
You used me.

359
00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,690
I feel so cheap.

360
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,390
I'm sorry. Don't touch me.

361
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:12,240
You're going to have to go and put that
thing on.

362
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,600
Come on, we're married. I shouldn't have
to wear one anymore.